Illustration by Christina Zhang

TOOTHLESS

When it comes down to the best pets, dogs and cats are so in the past. Why settle for a pet beagle when you can have a dragon? In terms of who chose the better companion, Hiccup from How to Train Your Dragon certainly scored more brownie points than Charlie Brown. Not only is Toothless far more adorable than Snoopy, but boasting about your pet dragon sounds way cooler than claiming you have a boring old dog.

Think about it: do you really want to walk and play fetch with your pet every day, even those when you slept for only thirty minutes, are surviving off of a single cup of coffee, and feel like the walking dead? Or would you rather be treated to a peaceful, scenic flight by your fire-breathing pet dragon? I mean, there’s really no competition: Toothless’ abilities and talents are far superior to any other pet.

Running late to school and missed your last bus? Hop on Toothless and you won’t have to explain to your English teacher why you were late for the fifth consecutive day. Don’t like somebody at school? No biggie, Toothless will tower over your worst enemies and cause them running for their lives. Have a physics test tomorrow but are severely underprepared? Have your dragon breathe fire on the school, and you’ll finally have a decent reason for pulling the fire alarm. “There was legitimate danger, Ms. Goldenberg!”

But don’t worry about Toothless being too cool; he’s not one of those friends who out of the blue decide that they’re more popular than you and leave you in the dust. No, this guy will stick with you through thick and thin, and is there to be your best friend. He’ll hate your enemies, adopt your mannerisms, and tease you about the hot girl you’ve had your eye on. Toothless is pretty much as loyal as friends get, so you don’t have to worry about losing your sidekick.

Now, I do admit cats and dogs are cute, but if Toothless is a ten, then other animals are more like a two. From  his huge green eyes and perked-up ears to his half-crooked smile, Toothless is the most kawaii creature ever. How could you not melt  looking into those big, round eyes?

But really, no other pet is even a close match for Toothless in this war. Toothless is far superior in terms of skills, personality, and appearance. He’s the perfect mixture between protective, faithful, and lovable. Beat that, Snoopy.

SNOOPY

Snoopy, the lovable pet beagle from Charles M. Schulz’s comic Peanuts, has been one of the most prominent animal characters of all time, and rightly so. Though Toothless’s abilities might be attractive, the heart and personality of our favourite beagle are enough to win anyone over.

 

On the surface, Snoopy seems to only care about being fed. Though being fed is something he greatly values, there is much more to him that makes him a truly lovable sidekick. When Charlie contemplates life, Snoopy is always by his side with some reassurance. Once, when Charlie lamented to Snoopy that we would all die someday, all Snoopy said in reply was, “True, but on all the other days, we will not.” Truly inspirational.

Snoopy is the most relatable pet I have come across. I mean, the dog loves pizza, is claustrophobic, and can hear someone eat food from miles away; he sums up my entire existence. Not only that, but he’s insanely lazy and sleeps way too much.  He also has quite the relationship with chocolate chip cookies, and claims that they call to him. Me too, Snoopy. To top it off, he is the manifestation of the hopeless romantic inside all of us, with his never-ending stream of poetic woes always ending abruptly and quite simply.

Having Snoopy is like having a wise old philosophical man by your side at all times. He has lessons on everything from friendship, to life, to love, and I promise you they’re not too sketchy. When Charlie questions the sudden disappearance of dinosaurs, Snoopy is quick to answer, hypothesizing that they must’ve run out of cookies. According to him, girls are like cookies; every once in a while, you’ll find some that you just don’t get. While I don’t know anything about anything, Snoopy seems to have something to say about everything. We all have something to learn from him.

Not to mention, his self-indulgence and everlasting confidence is pretty amusing, but quite admirable at the same time. When Lucy calls him stupid as he sits watching leaves fall off a tree, he simply dismisses her as being jealous of him for being content. One of his greatest accomplishments involves being a (self-proclaimed) world-famous writer, which he’s somehow achieved by starting off (and ending) his “novels” with the exact same line each time: “It was a dark and stormy night…”. Meaning, they are one-line “novels”. You do you, Snoopy.

Snoopy’s wit, charm, and tactics make him an extraordinary companion and definitely the one we all truly wish we had. He might be just a dog, but he’s one very special dog: one that you can relate to and have fun with, and one that can make you laugh all the time. If you still don’t believe Snoopy is the best, that’s okay. All you’ll get is a diss or two from a very disappointed small beagle, you monster.

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