Please note that the following is written for illustrative purposes only.

November 18, 2011

Dear Parent(s)/Guardian(s),

Good job Garneau Working Group on Overcrowding, let’s give ourselves a round of applause. We’ve chilled a couple times and we’ve come up with a new timetable that nobody likes for February. This new timetable will help us ignore the actual problem of overcrowding. It will also make it look like we’re doing something in the short term when actually we aren’t.

The details about the timetable will be available soon and if you thought it was gonna screw you over before, you have no idea. We allow for these “growing pains” because students are clearly guinea pigs, not real people. We’re wasting an hour off the lives of two thousand people per day, but hey – at least we’re doing something. I’ll probably get around to telling the board all about it in June, and if we ever start dealing with the actual problem, the information we get from this change might help. Maybe.

I mean, if we go through this, then they’ll have to give us a real solution. Right? Yeah, totally.

We’ve already got a sample timetable and the changes have been explained quite clearly. Students won’t be prepared for the changes in February but it wouldn’t look good to say that on paper. If you have questions, please contact one of these fine people:

Ricky Goldenberg, Principal
Anastasia Liebster, VP
Christopher Sharp, VP
Alexandra Noack, VP
Annamaria Mazzaferro, VP
Or anybody other than me, for that matter. I don’t really care if you’re confused.

You guys are gonna hear a lot about this. Your feedback is important to us, which is why we’ve totally sent out the information on what the three classes and the parents had to say on whether these changes should be made in February or September. DEFINITELY sent that info out. You’re welcome.

If you guys wanna check out our brilliant plan, it’s on the Garneau site here. We made all the text really big so that we could fill up lots of space. You’ll notice on the last page that the notes we took are particularly rigorous. We don’t really give any new details, however we have shown that our timetable isn’t so ridiculous that it’s illegal, and we’ve shown some of our even worse ideas so that this one looks better by comparison.

Much more sincerely,

The Important Person in Charge of MGCI
With the Important-Sounding Title
in the NE6 Family of Schools