On Monday 31 March 2014, the Democratic People’s Republic of North Korea (commonly known as North Korea) and the Republic of Korea (commonly known as South Korea) formed an unspoken temporary alliance, and launched a massive, brutal attack against the West Sea. The two Koreas ruthlessly bombed the waters for no apparent reason, with North Korea firing 500 rounds of artillery into the waters, and South Korea following behind, firing 300 rounds of artillery, and sending troops with guns to run around and make noise.
As the world watched, the two Koreas focused their attacks on the front line of the war against the sea—-the poorly marked and disputed maritime boundary between the two countries. In a brave show of comradeship and teamwork, the two nations had each other’s backs, North Korea bombing the South’s waters, South Korea the North’s. For hours, shells bombarded the small islands and waters near the border, obliterating gallons upon gallons of pure ocean. In spite of their valiant efforts, the West Sea emerged relatively unscathed, a few seagulls its only casualties.
The sudden attack forced South Korean citizens living near the border to seek refuge in shelters. Fortunately, no one was hurt in the battle, which lasted less than a day. Come 1 April, the two countries reverted to their previous state of threatening, mocking, and holistically disagreeing with one another. Oddly, both sides deny there ever being any military alliance or joint offensive on the West Sea. Both countries claim that the brutal assault was merely a product of routine military drills that simply happened on the same date and on an unstable political border. But the world isn’t so easily convinced.
It is unknown why the West Sea was so viciously attacked, but many speculate that the large body of water had somehow earned the wrath of the Koreas. Ignorant of any justifiable cause, the world watched, confounded, as North and South Korea dumped explosive after explosive into the ocean. No doubt, throughout the incident, a single question echoed across the globe: “What the f*ck are you doing, Korea?”
This is a question that has been asked many times in the past. Ever since the the Korean War from 1950 to 1953, which ended in an armistice, the Korean Peninsula has remained in a technical state of war. It seems to be a routine custom of North Korea’s to throw hissy fits threatening nuclear attack, parade around, and attempt to blow things up. Sometimes the South joins in, gathering all its friends and sending soldiers out to paint themselves green, run about, shoot at sand dunes, and yelp at each other.
The bombing demonstrated the capability of an allied Korea. However, their combined resources should be put to purposes above bombing an ocean. So, please, pull yourself together already, Korea.