Illustration by Molly Yu

 

Manny is the head of a soft drink company, based in Minnesota. When he discovers a strange smell emanating from some old cans of his small-sized special prototype brand of “Minnesota sodas”, he decides to sell some cans to his friend Minnie.

Minnie, who has recently shrunken in size due a rare unidentified ailment, collects pop cans. Minnie has many strange hobbies, one of which is sewing patterns on her pop cans. Unsurprisingly, her eccentric nature has earned her a few enemies. Once, at a bar, Minnie lost a bet to a group of disagreeable Minnesotan men who suffer from dwarfism. Coincidently, the group of men work for Manny and are avid pop can collectors. The men wanted Minnie to sell them the rare small-sized cans of Manny’s special prototype brand of “Minnesota sodas”, to which Manny’s employees were never granted access. At the time, Minnie had no such cans in her possession, but she was forced to agree, as she had lost the bet.

When Minnie purchases her new cans from Manny, she sorts the old cans from the strange-smelling ones. She realises that the strange-smelling cans are actually distinct from the old cans. Minnie decides to sew patterns into all of her cans, thinking that the pop can collectors would not mind the sewing when she sells a can to them. She brings them a “Minnesota soda” can from her pile of old cans.

However, the pop can collectors are outraged when Minnie attempts to sell them the can. They do not appreciate Minnie’s sewing, and would not accept any of Minnie’s sewed cans. Minnie has also brought them the wrong can. She learns that the men actually wanted the strange-smelling cans, not the old ones. Minnie is in a predicament; she has sewn on all of her cans, even the strange-smelling ones, and now has nothing to offer the pop can collectors, who are becoming increasingly threatening.

Fortunately, Manny stumbles upon Minnie’s exchange with his employees. Seeing her trouble, he pulls Minnie aside and sells her another strange-smelling can. Minnie then sells the strange-smelling can to the pop can collectors, satisfying them. All is well.

In other words

Manny saw that many sorta old mini Minnesota sodas were sorta odd, so Manny sold mini Minnie many sorta old mini Minnesota sodas and many sorta odd mini Minnesota sodas. So Minnie sorted sorta old mini Minnesota sodas and sorta odd mini Minnesota sodas and sewed all mini Minnesota sodas. Mini Minnie owed Manny’s many mean mini Minnesota soda men a mini Minnesota soda. So Mini Minnie sold Manny’s many mean mini Minnesota soda men a sorta old mini Minnesota sewed soda. “Sod! A sorta old mini Minnesota soda?” said a mean mini Minnesota soda man of Manny’s many mean mini Minnesota soda men, “Mini Minnie sold a sorta old mini Minnesota sewed soda – odd! Mini Minnie oughta sold us mean Minnesota soda men mean mini sorta odd sodas! Mini Minnie – sodding meanie!” And mini Minnie said: “Oh, Manny’s many mean mini Minnesota soda men mean mean old mini Minnie oughta sold a mini Minnesota sorta odd soda, not a mini Minnesota sorta old soda nor a mini Minnesota sewed soda, old or odd.” Manny saw many mean mini Minnesota soda men menacing mini Minnie, who owed Manny’s many mean mini Minnesota soda men a sorta odd mini Minnesota soda, but owned only Manny’s sorted sorta odd mini Minnesota sewed sodas and sorta old mini Minnesota sewed sodas. Manny sold mini Minnie a sorta odd mini Minnesota soda, so mini Minnie owned a sorta odd mini Minnesota soda, not sewed. Then mini Minnie sold Manny’s many mean mini Minnesota soda men a sorta odd mini Minnesota soda. Mini Minnie said “Sold!” to Manny’s many mean mini Minnesota soda men. Now mini Minnie owed Manny’s many mean mini Minnesota soda men no sorta odd mini Minnesota sodas, but owned Manny’s many sorted sorta old mini Minnesota sewed sodas and many sorted sorta odd mini Minnesota sewed sodas.